9th february 2011.

dont think anyone reads this blog anymore it is already 2011 its been years since i last updated it i dont think i know how to write anymore but the speed of my typing remains the same. i tink. or has it gotten faster? hikhikhik

i am surprised i remember the password. really.

anyways everyone in this world is like really alone we really have no one to rely on seriously. but ourselves. :)

i cannot really express what im feeling right now. its a great big feeling of emptiness. i wouldnt even call it a void. because its not. because honestly. if i were to be exploded into a million tiny pieces this instant, i can genuinely say, i won't feel a thing.

bcuz my entire system is numb.

FUCKING FED UP IS THE WORD.

anyways i really need to study the stress is really getting to me next weeks intervensi i know most people dont give shit but in our school. people study anyway.... not all but still..

and i have been getting more and more unhappy in this house.

idk why i just get fucking pissed when i see everyone here. the way everyone reacts to the simplest things. so fucking annoying. makes me sad that this is my origin.

cant wait to get my ass out of malaysia

for i am like, depressed.

new year 2010

FCK IT.

hi.

i feel so sad so empty so... 2009-ny the sky is practically exploding and all i can say is.. crap. i dont want this year to end. in last year's post, i was dying for 2008 to end. and i was hoping 2009 would not be as fcked up and 2009..seriously gave me the BEST YEAR I COULD EVER HOPE FOR. seriously!!!!

whatever i wanted, i got. i achieved.

piano exam? i was one of the 2 students out of 10 students to pass it. HAHAHAHA. maybe my class is stupid but there is definite satisfaction in that.

violin exam? i passed. despite me BARELY PRACTISING AT ALL. and well, screwing up in the examination room as usual. MY NERVES WILL ALWAYS RAPE ME. I NEED CONDOMS HAHAHAHA WTF

pmr? straight As :) HAHAHAHAHA

that was my main concern. bcuz, honestly, everyone around me expects me to get it. well, *I* expect me to get it. HAHAHA! it may be nothing. everyone says pmr is nothing. well, mainly, it's role is self-satisfaction :D

and i really hate failing. i LOATHE failing. and oh fk my itunes just shuffled to it ends tonight- all american rejects. HAIH!!! WTF!!!

anyways i jz spent TWO WHOLE DAYS WITH NASREEN PHOEBE AND MY MURUKU. BEST DAYS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM ICE SKATING WHICH I FKING HATE TO BOWLING TO ARCHERY TO SWIMMING TO KARAOKE..................... AND SHOPPING AND FCKING AROUND AS USUAL.

days well spent! :D

well. school's beginning. SPM syllabus. HAHAHAAHAHA. OMG. FK IT LA!!!!!

new years resolutions? failing is not an option. so is breaking down.

IM GOING TO BRING MYSELF A NOTCH HIGHER THIS YEAR

oh yah meet more boys also HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA (Y) DUHHHHHHHH

and also. i want the people around me to remain the same :) if its possible, i would like the number to increaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

so. happy new year bitches!!!!! lmao

dont know what to sayyyyyyyyy dont know what to doooooooooooooo

dont like the word dessssperateeeeeeeee

dont like the pain in my lefttt shoulderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

dont like dont like dont like dont like dont like dont likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

dont like not accomplishing anythingggggggggg

dont likeeeeeeeeeee feeling pissssssssyyyyyyyyyyyy at everythinggg

dont like feeling helplesssssssssss feeling lessssssssss thannnnnnn perrrrrrfeeeeeecttttt

dont likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee notttttt knooowwwwwinggggg wat i wannttttttttttt

dont like feeling so incompetent. dont like feeling small. dont like losing. dont like eyebrow piercing. dont like people who think animals are disgusting? wtf? look into the mirror and think again.. polar bears r so cute... but jz now the one on animal planet didnt eat for 5 months and wanted to eat this seal so cute.. changed channel cuz couldnt bear it.

dont like going down to turn off the modem.. why is the MODEM DOWNSTAIRS?!!?!?!? dont understand...

dont like YOU reading this blog and claiming you know me...

dont like.......... dont like................ dont like..........

just, dont like..

crystal gan

the paparazzi.

LOOK! ITS LAU SAI SING!!!! HAHAHAAHAH WTF.

normal people walk through, go O_O wtf, but not me, not crystal gan!!!! HAHAHAAHA.

crystal gan see unnusual situation, crystal gan take out shitty fon, crystal gan go SNAP SNAP!!!!!!!!! and post on blog to share amazing experience.. lol.

now, here we see a mother wearing a pink thong. and flaunting it to the world. i kenot believe she cant feel it!!!!!!! bcuz i know she can. I BET SHE CAN LOR!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!!

MILF WANNABE!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!

and beside her i think i see an asshole flaunting itself...

tsktsk...free porn everywhere.. who needs redtube. HAHAHAHA.

AUNTY!!! TELLING YOUR SON NOT TO WATCH PORN ISIT???

KEKEKEKEKEKEKE.

today i went to pj for lunch and bumped into COLIN LEE FROM MY PRIMARY SCHOOL WHILE COMING OUT FROM THE TOILET AND HE WAS GOING IN HAHAHAHA. ITS LIKE WE WALK PAST EACH OTHER AND THEN WE TURN BACK TO FACE EACH OTHER AND SAID AT THE SAME TIME "WAT ARE YOU DOING HEERE?!!?!?!?!?!!?!"

HAHAHAHHAAHA. SO FUNNY WEI!!!! like action movie. then he shuffled into the toilet awkwardly wtf HI COLIN IF U ARE READIN TIS!!!!!!! EL OH EL!!!

skts gathering la woi.......... nudge nudge skts people...

OKOKOKOKOK!!!! PAPARAZZZI PART 2!!!!!!

today i went for a wedding lunch. and wtf!?!?!!?!?!

WAT IS TAT THING ON HER HEAD WEI. looks like my mother after cuci rambut.. balut rambut dengan tuala untuk... keringkan.. rasa sayang... hei.. lol.


couldnt stop laffing wei...


my turban okeh onot? loose jor rite?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

omg i rock!!!!!!! HAHAAHA MAYBE I SHUD REALLY CONSIDER BEING A PAPARAZZI...

i am the next perez hilton.

i am tommie cruizo. WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.


let me teach u how to drink sprite happily..

everytime i go for swimming i sleep at 5am wtf and wake up at 8am to folo dad to club..


MR CHUA'S DOG!!!!!!!!

does anybody haf mr chua kasturi punya fb profile!!!! really wanna thank him for ze extra class hehe :D kh is nao kacang putih suci dan memutih lagi...


after a while, self destruction becomes a habit.

nothing can stop me now.

and Br@ ONG. I iSH kEnOT lInk EuUU oRHXxX. I Oso Dun UnDErSTand WHy HoRx~*

SoRrY okIEx.

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEHEHEHHEE. go pack for interact conference.. pack all my pillows.

ciao ciao ciaoooooooooooooooo kukuciaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

booo

back.

i LOVE my hometown. alot of pics but left my fon downstairs so today its 3.55am nao i jz do something random. the melaka river has many dead monitor lizards floating around. it is very sad. i wish to do something about it. hate feeling helpless.

i hate my hair. it looks like pubic hair trying to be hair but only jadi halfway so its semi pubic hair HAHAHA i am so disgusting. plus, its so thick. so its always in a bun. so you idiots, if you want to lepak with crystal gan, must call ok!!!!!! dont suddenly pop up in front of my doorstep.

bcuz if you ring my doorbell and i happen to answer the door we will look at each other like dis O_O for two minutes and then you will ask if crystal gan is at home.

THAT IS HOW DIFFERENT I LOOK AT HOME!!!!!!! plus specs.

and my spec is no ordinawy spec!!!!!


this is the spec that maintain my eyesight at 200 for one year EL O EL.

plus i actually wear pyjamas and walk around the house like (-_-") the whole day lol.

SO IF YOU WANTO LEPAK GIVE ME A CALL!!! AT LEAST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO WASH MY HAIR!!!! HAHAHAAHAH.

i jz found out something about teenagers nowadays. WE ARE ALL MADE OUT OF SHIT. we only know how to enjoy, bcuz thats all our parents give us. we have all the time in the world to do some good learn some crap for this holidays but what are we doing?

1) wearing pyjamas and walking around like (-_-") around the house everyday wtf
2) complaining about the reopening of school to anyone who is equally lifeless
3) being online the whole day and getting excited when there is like one notification on facebook bcuz it means somebody is talking to you and acknowledging your existance which is now equivalent to an ant
4) go outttt have funnn have some more funnnn get wastedddd and think you're so coooooool cuz u are nao pukinggg down a toiletttt coz of alcoholll so coooooooooooool

maybe YOUUU think its okay to rot and hang around until school reopeens. but not me. not crystal gaaaaaaaan!!!!!! NOT ANYMORE AT LEAST!!!!!!!!

I WILL :-

1. learn how to play CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME- KOTARO OSHIO on the guitar HAHAHAHA. im laffing bcuz i don even know how to play the guitar. i always said i will marry anyone who can play that song on the guitar for me cuz it is too damn good and i never get bored of it in fact i want it at my wedding/baby shower/funeral. T_T since im not into gettin any guy to play tat for me for now and want to marry myself, so i think, why not i learn myself. so yah, i want to learn guitar!!! by the end of this holidays, i will at least know how to strum. or something. lol. heee.

2. compose a song! HAHAHAHAHAHA. all i do is listen to songs on the radio and if i like them i play them back on the piano! i feel like trying something new... lol.. and if i really get the balls, i will post it up... HAHAHAHA....

3. LEARN A LANGUAGE!!!! LEARN SOME KOREAN!!!! lol. you ppl dont potong my stim by saying KENOT ONE LA!!!!!!! bcuz i haf determination. and time. since i finished prince of persia the ps2 game. until i buy the next prince of persia i will learn korean!! lol.

4. lose some weight....... haih...... damn sad. i was so skinny last time now im jz a big ball of fats.. dam sad!!!!! so nao i swim. but wats the point?! if after swimming i eat like... haih.. anyways jz lose some weight laa...

5. stop cursing.... HAHAHAAHAHA...

omg my mum jz caught me being online at 4am!!!!!!!!! ALL SHE DID WAS STARE AT ME LOL FOR LIKE A FEW SECS AND THEN WENT INTO THE TOILET HAHAHAA.... SHE LOOKED QUITE STONED I FELT LIKE TAKING A PICTURE HAHAHAHAA

hello! i, crystal gan ai wen, will now stop bein the queen of denial. i have a habit of NOT acknowledging the past or people from the past bcuz 1)i hate it 2) my ego too big dont like to admit they managed to hurt me 3) want to forget but most of the time end up remembering the most





and i miss school lol aint school entertaining HAHAHAHAA


love my ear *O*


this is the only time i camwhored when i studied for pmr.

and tis was b4 extra class mr brian tuition science HAHA.

dam hardcore. nvr came online at all. the first thing after school is book, book after book! even if i went out for dinner i would drag a book with me. toilet, walk the dog, etc. and i would get dam agitated at myself if i were to fall asleep lol jialat.

so if i dont get straight As, really, _|_ to the very max...

no matter how shitty the education system of our country we must abide to it bcuz!!!!! we are currently in the dam country lol. and believe it or not, i actually enjoyed the whole studying process!!! HAHAHAA. felt lost after the stupid exam ok!!! HAHAHA.

i am constantly being exposed to the things i can never obtain grrrrrrrrrr makes me mad. i need a brighttttttttt futureeeeee, big big house, big big farrrrrrrm.

4.30am!!!!!!!!!

OMG IM THE MOST LIFELESS TEENAGER HAIH

sayo to the nara!

random.....

"WAH YOU WENT SWIMMING ALONE AH? SO SCARY!!!!!!" - words of a girl who lives under a rock. ( ANGELA LIM )

anyways wtf i just TRIED to read my previous post it was very hard to read like WAHHH everything was jumbled up suddenly nasi goreng suddenly porn suddenly oscar its like i dun even get wat im tryin to say lol..

do you? *O*

SO HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS 3.05AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i went swimming again today HAHAAHAHA I LIKE


AFTER SWIMMING HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

yes lol everything.

then came home to laksa, tau fu fa, tong sui dan sebagainya..

IM THE FIRST ONE IN HISTORY TO GAIN WEIGHT AFTER EXERCISE. pukitiao. cannot resist saying tat cuz it sounds so vulgar and cute. BOO HON WAI POLLUTED ME!!!!!! pukitiao

anyways i dont like guys who call girls bitch U_U! have i said this before? i somehow kenot stand it!!! even for a person whose vocabulary is so flowery and cute like mine. its like, guys who do that, they do not respect the girl. in a very scary way. but somehow when girls call each other that its like BFF TOGETHER FOREVER TOTALLY SPIES GIRLFRIEND XOXO U KNOW U LOVE ME GOSSIP GIRL kind of thing u know?

-___________-"""

just my opinion.

weirdddddd. do you know how to manipulate words? if you do, life would be an easierrrrr place for youuuuuuuuuu.


i jz found this photo wtf i look so stoned

freaking stoned.

LOOK DAM CHINESE RITE!!!!!!!

MATA SEPET HIDUNG MUNCUNG MULUT ITIK!!! ^_^VV


MY TEDDY SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES HE NOT REMIND YOU OF THE TEDDY FROM MR BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I GO SLEEP CUZ I SERIOUSLY DAM TIRED I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP JZ NOW WHILE SURFING NET IN DAD'S OFFICE WHILE PLAYING HAPPY AQUARIUM..

GAN OUTSIDE MADAFACKA

SWIMMING MAKES ME HAPPY!!!!

SO TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!! GOD TOOK AWAY MY INTERNET CONNECTION while i was loading my movies/taiwanese drama/korean drama/ peter chao etc. -__-!! but i could still play bejewelled blitz on facebook dam weird how come.

i was being damn hysterical started screaming hee hee cuz i am an attention deprived child. NOT. bcuz life suddenly became meaningless!!!! AT LEAST MY BROTHER COULD STUDY CUZ HE WAS HAVIN EXAMS!!!!!!! i could do nothing wtf. bcuz, everybody knows, i dont use my phone. i dont text, i dont call. i oni text/call when neccessary. bcuz 1) radiation. 2) i hate text messaging bcuz i tend to wait for replies and dont reply them and then ppl end up hating me cuz they dont get my reply wtf

and i dont really watch tv. cuz computer IS tv. HAHAHAHAHA

omg i sound so lifeless. so i decided to go swimming on wednesday!!!!!!!!! GUGUGAGA

wanted to sleep early on tuesday cuz in order to go swimming, i hafta wake up early to follow dad to office cuz kiara club is around there.... DAMANSARA ^_^!!! but i slept at 3 bcuz i woke up at 2 wtf.

why did i sleep so late? was busy watching porn downstairs HAHAHAHAA NOLAH!!! was watching THE READER. YOU UNDERAGE DONT WATCH OKEH!!!! kate winslet dam saggy wtf. but uh. great performance!!! OSCAR OKAY. lolol

ANYWAYS I AM SO DAM CURIOUS ABOUT THAT MOVIE TEETH ADMA TOLD ME ABOUT. ITS ABOUT A VAGINA WITH TEETH HAHAHAHA. "YOU RAPE ME, I BITE YOU!!!" PENETRATE PENETRATE MUNCH. FREAKING WEIRD. AWARD WINNING OK!!!! THE AWARD WINNING VAGINA!!!! HAHAHAAHHAHAA YEE SEEN I NO U LIKE!!!!

-_________________-"""""""

anylalalahoos.

reached club at 10am. swam until 1pm. HAHAHAHAHHAHAA SEMANGAT WARRIOR SEJATI!!!!! breast stroke sana free style balik. i felt like a free breast HAHAHAHAHA. GEDDIT? BREAST STROKE + FREESTYLE = FREE BREAST -_- wtf.

anyways dam kiasu la couldnt stop bcuz in the lane beside mine, this guy swimming to and fro NON STOP FOR LIKE, 50 LAPS OK. TERPEGUN TAHAP MATA BERKILAU. AND WHEN HE FINALLY GOT UP. OLD MAN WTF. SURE LIBIDO DAM HIGH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-_____________-""""""

lalalalala finished showering



walked all the way to clubhouse for nasi pataya :D

started raining -____________-

plus i was running in circles cuz i didnt know where was the tempat makan di bowling sana dengan nasi pataya yang amat sedap kerana saya terlupa...............

anyways. i made it after some time -_-

waitin for my pataya :D

DO YOU IZ LIKE ME NAILS?

read.....

nasi pataya takin a shitload of time...........


let me teach you how to drink coke sadly


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then after that i had serious stomach ache HAHAHAHAA. while payin for the rice i was aching to go to the toilet YES CHARGE ON ACCOUNT LA STUPID WOMAN HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY?????????????????

had a good time in the toilet before my dad picked me up HAHAHHAHAA

then went to dad's office hyperventilated and went online for a while then dad brought me to sunway pyramid to buy pants bcuz he says i am embarassing him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH FLOWERY SHORTS LA WTF.

then he passed me to mum who works in sunway =O then he went to dinner with some german doods. then i ate paste with mum. then mum ignored me while we ate pasta. then i continued talking to myself.


then i took a random pic when mum was tryin on clothes

then we went home

then i went to sleep

END.

IM SORRY, BUT, I HAVE TO SAY THIS.

I WANT TO WATCH NEW MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and fck you people, dont you dare call my cellphone, my house phone my whatever phone, my fathers phone when im in the house even. MULTIPLE TIMES.

CUZ I DONT LIKE THE SOUND OF RINGING OK???????????????????? FCK YOU PEOPLE MAN. IT MAKES ME... FEEL.. IMMENSELY.. DISTURBED.

oh yah adma i was wearing ur shirt again sorry!!!!!!!! cuz it was the oni one downstairs and i had to be fast cuz i woke up late!!! so i jz grabbed it!!! LOVE YOU TOO ADMA!!!

OKAY! RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS!!!! BYE!!!!!